ABC's of Church Geeks

While I was working as the Chaplain at ECC I came up with this list with one of the counselors.

A is for Anglican
B is for Baptism
C is for Communion
D is for Doctrine
E is for Excelsis Deo
F is for Fraction
G is for Genuflecting
H is for Holy Trinity
I is for Incarnation
J is for Jesus
K is for Kiss
L is for Luke
M is for Matthew
N is for Nicodemus
O is for Ontological Change
P is for Pauline Epistles
Q is for Quasimodo Sunday
R is for Resurrection
S is for Salvation
T is for Transfiguration
U is for Unction
V is for Veneration
W is for Worship
X is for





Y is for YHWH
and
Z is for Zion


Got any suggestions?

Ariz. Bishop on +Gene's Exculsion

Ariz. Episcopal bishop: Gay's exclusion 'insult'

By Stephanie Innes
Arizona Daily Star
Tucson, Arizona | Published: 07.11.2008

The bishop of Arizona's Episcopalians says it's "insulting" that an openly gay American bishop was not invited to next week's Lambeth Conference, a worldwide meeting of the Anglican Communion.

Arizona's Bishop Kirk S. Smith, a Phoenix resident, is one of about 700 bishops from around the globe who will attend the once-per-decade event, which will begin Tuesday in Canterbury, England. The Episcopal Church is part of the Anglican Communion, which has nearly 80 million worshippers around the world.

Bishop V. Gene Robinson, the openly gay bishop of New Hampshire, was not invited to attend. But Smith said Robinson will be in Canterbury, just not at the event.
"I think it's a very insulting thing to the American church that a duly elected bishop is told he's not allowed to come," said Smith, who will be attending his first Lambeth Conference.
"The vast majority of my colleagues feel quite upset. But Gene himself told us, 'You need to go and make your case.' He has been gracious and complied with the archbishop of Canterbury. I hope I will be able to convince some of the bishops I meet with to meet Gene, so that he's not just a name."

Read the rest of the article here.

I find myself in the same camp as Bp. Smith. Gene Robinson is a duly elected Bishop of this Church, just as Bp. Smith and every other Bishop. However, I understand the difficultly of the situation. +Robinson's consecration is the source of major controversy: As Bp. Smith calls it, "The Gene Robinson issue." I am very glad that +Robinson will be at Lambeth to see as a witness to the Gospel and the love of Christ. That he will be there to meet with Bishops from around the world that they may know him and see why he was elected Bishop by the people of New Hampshire. I am also thankful for Bishops like +Smith, who understand the importance of +Robinson's witness to the church.

+Smith sums up very well what we as a Church - and the Bishops at Lambeth - need to do. "We have spent far too long arguing about these things, and we really need to get on with the mission of the church," Smith said. "One of my hopes for the Anglican bishops is that we can recommit ourselves to the larger mission, agree to disagree and get on with it."

As Bishop have gone and continue to travel to Lambeth let us hold them in our prayers. Let us pray for the unity of the Church and that we all may serve as a witness to Christ's presence and love in the world.

Loving God, some of our bishops have been involved in legal actions over issues our Church struggles with. Some have endured personal attack, discouragement, bewilderment. Some have found themselves in the midst of civil unrest and war. Some have experienced rejection and persecution. Many are going to Lambeth feeling fragile, fearful, anxious, wounded. Help them see themselves as You see them. Help us see them as You see them. May we speak lovingly and gently about all bishops, even those whose views differ from our own. May they do likewise about one another. May grace and holiness permeate our Church so that the world will see us as You call us to be--loving one another in thought and action. All this we ask through your son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Christian Wisdom from the Jedi Master

So there are lots of connections between Christianity and the way of the Force. I mean, you know you're Episcopal if when you see Star Wars and they say, "May the Force be with you," you automatically respond,"And also with you." There is this book, that I have read bits and pieces of called Christian Wisdom from the Jedi Masters. I'm sure you can come up with plenty other Star Wars church references.

But this evening while I was wasting time on Facebook, I stumbled across this video on a friend's profile. Enjoy!

More than just sex

It's nice to see the Church talking about more than just sex. . . now we are talking about food!

Every few days I spend about a million hours checking my HOB/D (House of Bishops / Deputies) email list. For those of you on the list you understand how easy it is to spend WAY to much time on that list. Well today an email caught my eye with the subject line, "our cookbook". Being a the culinary fan that I am - and having nothing better to do - I opened the email.

Apparently after Lambeth (therefore next month) those of us on the listserve will be hearing more about the HOB/D cookbook project. "Bishops, Deputies, Alternates, CCAB members, are invited to submit a recipe and a short (very short - very very short) paragraph on how your recipe reflects your sense of the presence of God in our midst," Ann Fontaine (Wyoming GC2009 c3) member of the Cookbook Committee writes.

The theme will be recipes with a sense of the spirituality of eating. Bishop Tutu's idea, "there is no end to what can happen when people sit down to a meal together" is the inspiration behind the theme.

The goal of the cookbook is to bring us together not to raise divides such as tomaytoes vs. tomahtoes.

Once the book is completed and published it will be sold with all profits going to Episcopal Relief and Development.

For me this is the perfect motivation to be a little more creative in my cooking. If I come up with anything worthy of submitting I'll post my entry here as well.

We've missed something

I was watching the first post over on TheGenePool and noticed this picture during the video. If you notice the big headline on the top of the page is "Gay wedding in UK angers Orombi." There is another head line on that page that is a lot smaller. It reads "Girls in sex slavery." Why is it a bigger deal that a gay wedding angered Archbishop Orombi than girls being involved in a sex slavery? We should be outraged doing something to protect these girls and all the girls in similar situations: not that two people in a monogamous relationship, who love care and respect each other have gotten married. We have obviously missed something here.

Women Bishops in CofE

Amongst all that has been going on in the World Wide Anglican Communion, the Church of England has been more seriously debating the issue of women bishops. They had threats for people to leave and people to stay. I must say that I am happy that the C of E has more closer to full inclusion of all people in all levels of ministry by "affirm(ing) that the wish of its majority is for women to be admitted to the episcopate" Congrats, C of E! I am sure you will be a richer and fuller church with this new voice in your episcopate.

The above picture is of the 11 women bishops at the 1998 Lambeth Conference. I am very proud to say that my Diocesan Bishop - Geralyn Wolf - was one of those 11. She is in the back row second from the right.

For some more views on the C of E's recent decision check out:

Ruth Gledhill at TimesOnline
Scott Gunn at Seven Whole Days
Susan Russell at An Inch At A Time
epiScope
Kendall Harmon at TitusOneNine
Stand Firm

A Message From +Gene

I received this email this morning from the Walking With Integrity email list.

RE: A Message From +Gene As He Departs For The UK

OFF TO ENGLAND AND THE LAMBETH CONFERENCE

Later today, I leave for England and the Lambeth Conference. I am writing to you to 1) ask for your prayers, 2) to let you know how you can keep up with the goings-on in England, and my reflections on them, and 3) to assure you that I will be taking you in my heart everywhere I go.

YOUR PRAYERS:

First, pray for the Lambeth Conference of Bishops, the Anglican Communion and the Archbishop of Canterbury, that the bonds of affection that bind us together might be strengthened and that God’s will might be discerned as we struggle to be the Church in the 21st century. Pray especially for the Episcopal Church’s bishops attending the Lambeth Conference, that we might greet our brother and sister bishops with grace and hospitality and be ready to learn what they have to teach us.

Then, please pray for me. Because the Archbishop of Canterbury chose to exclude me from the Lambeth Conference, I will need to be intentional about creating opportunities for interacting with bishops and spouses from around the Anglican Communion. Pray that God might open up those opportunities for conversation and open my heart for mutual learning.

Because of controversy surrounding my attendance, and the incessant press coverage which will undoubtedly insert itself, pray that God might keep me grounded in the Spirit of love, forgiveness and compassion.

Because of threats against my life that have already begun, pray that God might keep me (and those who have been hired to protect me) safe, and return me home to you.

During this whole time, I’ll be praying with the Franciscan brothers and sisters at Greyfriars, in Canterbury. Join me in giving thanks for their hospitality and witness.


SPECIFIC DATES ON WHICH TO PRAY:

Some of you have asked for particular dates and particular events for which I would desire your prayers:

Thursday, July 10: I will be speaking at the Modern Churchperson’s Union conference (along with former Presiding Bishop Frank Griswold, the Primate of Wales, and several African bishops).

Sunday, July 13: I will be preaching at St. Mary’s, Putney (just across the Thames from London, in the Diocese of Southwark). This will be the only time I’m allowed to preach while in England.

Monday, July 14: British premiere of the documentary “For the Bible Tells Me So,” in Queen Elizabeth Hall, at the South Bank Centre for the Arts. I will be appearing with Daniel Karslake, the filmmaker, and Shakespearean actor (and Lord of the Rings star) Sir Ian McKellen. This event will be a fund-raiser for AIDS work in Africa.

Wednesdays, July 23 and 30: American bishops will be hosting two “Come meet our brother bishop Gene” evenings, open only to bishops and spouses. I will be “introduced” by several clergy and lay leaders from NH in a little DVD we’ve made for the event. Then I’ll have a chance to engage bishops from around the Communion and tell them about the work of the Gospel here in NH.

August 3-6, I’ll be preaching and speaking in Glasgow and Edinburgh, Scotland, as guest of the Church that gave us bishops some 200+ years ago.

KEEPING UP WITH MY GOINGS-ON

I will be writing a daily blog called Canterbury Tales from the Fringe


I will also be doing a daily VIDEO blog for Claiming the Blessing, called The Lambeth Gene Pool

As I leave for Lambeth, know that I am so grateful for all your love and support. This promises to be a demanding and difficult time, but I go with the knowledge that we are living out the Gospel of Jesus Christ here in New Hampshire, in the spirit of infinite respect and radical hospitality. Thank you, my dear and beloved sisters and brothers in Christ, for your love and for your prayers.

+Gene

You might be an Episcopalian . . .

In this time of debate in the Episcopal Church I have been left wondering what sound keep us together as an Anglican Communion. Is there something other than our shared history, something other than once being English colonies, that binds us together as a world wide communion. Maybe where we have come in our journey of faith calls us to split, to follow our different calls to serve as God's presence in the world. A lot will be revealed in the communion weeks as the Bishops of the World Wide Anglican Communion gather for the Lambeth Conference. While we wait to see what happens at Lambeth, you might be wondering if you are indeed an Episcopalians.

These are not original, but taken from the Facebook group You might be an Episcopalian . . .

Well, you might be an Episcopalian . . .

. . . when you watch Star Wars and they say "May the force be with you", you automatically reply "And also with you".

. . .if the only good reason to raise your hand during a hymn is to question the organist's re-harmonization.

. . . if you know the saying, "Where two or three are gathered, there's a fifth."

. . . if someone says, "Let us pray" and you automatically hit your knees.

. . . if you recognize your neighbor, or rector, in the local liquor store and go over to greet him/her.

. . . if you have totally memorized Rite I, Rite II and the first three episodes of The Vicar of Dibley.

. . . if you know the difference between a surplice and a cotta - and the appropriate use of each.

. . . if hearing people pray in the language of "jesuswejus" makes you want to scream.

. . . if words like: "vouchsafe", "oblation", "supplications", "succor", "bewail", "wherefore", "dost" and "very" (in its archaic sense) are familiar to you even if you don't have a clue that they mean.

. . .if your groomsmen at your wedding whisper "with God's help" to you during your vows after you say "I will".

. . . the sight of a woman in a clerical collar doesn't make you cringe.

. . . if you can rattle off such tongue twisters like: ". . . who made there by his one oblation of himself once offered a full and perfect sacrifice, oblation and satisfaction for the sins of the world" and "Wherefore, O, Lord and Heavenly Father, we thy people, do celebrate and make here, with these gifts which we offer unto thee, the memorial thy Son hath commanded us to make . . ." without missing a beat.

. . .if you think that the Bible is a holy book because it quotes the Book of Common Prayer so well.

. . . if while looking for a can opener in the church kitchen, all you can find are four corkscrews.

. . . if your choir director suggests discussing something over a beer after choir rehearsal.

. . . if you catch yourself genuflecting or bowing as you enter a row of seats in a theater.

. . . you visit any Protestant church, and when you get seated you say, "where are the kneelers?"

. . . or, "where is the altar?!"

. . . if you can pronounce "innumerable benefits procured unto us by the same."

. . . if the word "Sewanee" puts a lump in your throat.

. . . if you know the best way to quiet a room full of them: "The Lord be with you!"

. . . if you ever find yourself saying, "Oh, but we've never done it that way before."

. . . if, when visiting a Catholic Church, you are the only Ah-men amongst a sea of A-mens.

. . . if your covered dish for the potluck dinner is escargot in puff shells.

. . .if you know that a primate isn't just a monkey.

. . . if you know that a sursum corda is not a surgical procedure.

. . . if you don't think Agnus Dei is a woman.

. . . if your picnic basket has sterling knives and forks (entree, fish, salad and cake).

. . .you know how to finish the phrase "and I will raaaaise them up, and I will raaaaise them up..."

. . . if you know that the nave is not a playing card.

. . . if your friend said "I'm truly sorry. . ." and you replied, "and you humbly repent?"

. . .if you consider a sticker on your car to be an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace.

. . .if you know that "humble access" has nothing to do with a security clearance.

. . . if while watching the movie "The Madness of King George" you're able to recite with the King, when he undergoes "surgery," the Collect for Purity.

. . . if you know that the Senior Warden and the Junior Warden are not positions in the local prison.

. . . if you think the most serious breach of propriety one can commit is failure to chill the salad forks.

. . . if you not only talk about God, but God is placed in the palm of your hand.

And finally,

. . . if you reach a point when you're not sure about anything theologically but you still feel completely at home at the altar rail and somehow know you're meeting God there, even though you can't begin to understand how.


I think I might just be an Episcopalian. What about you?

Independence Day

So I just realized that I didn't put anything on here in honor of the Fourth of July. Every year my neighbor reads the Declaration of Independence and it is something that I have picked up. However, I do not say the whole thing. I do recite the preamble and the next line. So here it is for you:

Action of Second Continental Congress, July 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen United States of America

WHEN in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.

WE hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

May we all remember that which has been sacrificed so that we can be argue and fight one another for rights and ways of life, that we can debate and practice our religions freely, and that we can openly (which I do frequently) criticize our governmental leaders.

Lord God Almighty, in whose Name the founders of this country won liberty for themselves and for us, and lit the torch of freedom for nations then unborn: Grant that we and all the people of this land may have grace to maintain our liberties in righteousness and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. AMEN.

~ BCP page 242

My New Hair Cut - Church Geek Style

As some of you may know there is this video on YouTube called My New Haircut. Well there are all these various editions of this video. There is the Senior Citizen version, the Jewish Edition, the Irish edition, to name a few.

In this time of great conflict in the world wide communion I thought a little humor would be nice. This version is, by far, my favorite "My New Haircut" video. Enjoy!

RI Deputies' letter to Bishop Wolf

A couple of weeks ago myself and the other Rhode Island deputies to the 2009 General Convention, gathered to discuss the proposed covenant for the Anglican Communion. Following our meeting the conversation was summarized in a letter, which we sent to the Bishop as she prepares to head to Lambeth. Our letter is copied below.

Dear Bishop Wolf,

On June 12, the Deputies from Rhode Island gathered to discuss the St. Andrew's Draft of the proposed Covenant. In keeping with the suggestion of President Bonnie Anderson, we would like to share with you some of our discussion as you head to the Lambeth Conference.

We engaged in an hour-long discussion, and it was clear that while we are not in complete agreement, we are of a common mind on some aspects of the proposed Covenant. We did not take formal votes, and this letter is meant to give you a sense of our conversation, as we all continue to discern where God might be calling the church.

We began with a discussion of whether or not it even makes sense to ratify a Covenant, given our identity as Anglican Christians. Our shared opinion was that this would be a significant departure from our heritage. For over 15 centuries, the Church has been guided by the historic creeds. Since the Reformation, Anglicans have been united by a common liturgical expression. And in more recent times, the modern Anglican Communion has found common expression in the Chicago-Lambeth Quadrilateral. We do not believe that a Covenant will add usefully to these existing expressions.

We agreed that we are not a confessional church. Though the 39 Articles bear some aspects of confession, they have never been accorded a place of primacy in this country, nor in most of the Anglican Communion. Even in England, subscription to them is no longer required. More to the point, the Anglican Communion has never been understood as a confessional church.

Generally speaking, then, we believe that the adoption of a Covenant represents an unwelcome change to our identity as Anglican Christians. Even if it were felt that such a document is required, due to changing circumstances, we agreed that now is not the time to adopt a Covenant.

We acknowledge that we are in crisis now, and believe that it is important to move through the crisis first -- before we adopt a Covenant. It would be too important to risk having its adoption driven by a hasty response to a particular crisis. We are also concerned about the process for developing this Covenant. Not all voices have been represented in its creation, which notably lacks GLBT Anglican voices and the voices of women. We wonder if an unjust process can lead to a just document."

With that said, we moved to a discussion of the Covenant itself. Our reading of the present situation is that some kind of document is likely to be circulated to the Provinces of the Communion for adoption. So while we believe this may be an error, we wanted to comment on the text before us.

We had no significant issue with the first two sections, in which the frameworks for agreement are laid out. In fact, if this were adopted, most of us would have no significant objection. Several of us found minor points objectionable, but we could live with those two sections.

The third section was more problematic. Most of us felt that it is inappropriate to create a mechanism for the expulsion of Provinces, especially in the current situation. Most troubling to us, we wish express our strenuous objection to the elevation to curial authority of the Instruments of Communion, particularly those populated solely by bishops. This is the wrong time to consider this significant shift in our polity. We are willing to grant the Archbishop of Canterbury a place of primacy as the primus inter pares of Anglican bishops. This position of moral and spiritual authority allows him to speak to the Communion on matters of great concern. We agree that he may wish to consult with his sister and brother bishops in the Lambeth Conferences. We understand that these bishops may practice their episcopal charism together, as a group. We support the Archbishop of Canterbury in summoning the Primates for mutual support and conversation. We strongly object to either the Primates or the Lambeth Conferences speaking for the entire Communion, made up of laity, bishops, priests, and deacons.

The final section of the Covenant, in which mechanisms for expelling Provinces are spelled out, is obviously problematic for us. We would not wish this to be considered as authoritative.

If there must be a Covenant, we hope it will serve as a means of unity and reconciliation, not of coercion and separation.

Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers in this important time in the life of our church. We urge you to bear witness to the spiritual vitality of the Episcopal Church, and we look forward to hearing about the faith of our sister and brother Anglicans throughout the world.

Sincerely,

the RI deputies and alternates to the 76th General Convention

GAFCON, Lambeth, etc.

So I got home this morning from Morning Prayer and figured since I haven't got much to do today, and haven't done so in a few days, I would do a little blogging. So I checked my Inbox and looked at some of my usual blogs, and as you might have guessed there was a lot on GAFCON, Lambeth, and all that political craziness going on in the World Wide Anglican Communion. As I read the emails and posts, I found myself caring less and less. Frankly, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the name of the Church I love being dragged through the mud. I'm sick of the headlines of one lawsuits and court cases, I'm sick of people being banned, I'm sick of people ignoring our Baptismal Covenant, I'm saddened that the motto of the Episcopal Church - "The Episcopal Church Welcomes You" - is no longer true, I'm just sick of it all. I love this Church more than words can describe, and it kills me to see it being torn apart. But, it is time we remember what we are called to do. We are called to be the light of Christ and the salt of the Earth. We need to - as a church - get back to mission and ministry. Today we celebrate the feast of Sts. Peter and Paul. They weren't the best of friends, but they still found away to not split the church apart over who should or shouldn't be included. The collect for today is:

Almighty God, whose blessed apostles Peter and Paul glorified you by their martyrdom: Grant that your Church, instructed by their teaching and example, and knit together in unity by your Spirit, may ever stand firm upon the one foundation, which is Jesus Christ our Lord; who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Today and everyday, let us remember the teaching and examples of Sts. Peter and Paul. Let us come together and stand firm on the one foundation, which is Jesus Christ our Lord.

The Nativity of St. John the Baptist

I know it's really late, but today is the feast of the Nativity of St. John the Baptist. I hope you all had lovely days, and managed to keep your hears!

Almighty God, by whose providence your servant John the Baptist was wonderfully born, and sent to prepare the way of your Son our Savior by preaching repentance: Make us so to follow his teaching and holy life, that we may truly repent according to his preaching; and, following his example, constantly speak the truth, boldly rebuke vice, and patiently suffer for the truth's sake; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

If you see this man . . .

If you see the man picture to the right, be careful. He has been banned from GAFCON!! His name is Scott Gunn and he is a trouble maker.

Those at GAFCON have been instructed that if they see Scott or any of the other seven who have been banned to sing "All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name". If you are not firmiliar with it, it's #450 in the Hymnal. But for your entertainment here is a slightly less "orthodox" video of the song.

Lacking Environmental Stewardship

I currently serve on the Environmental Stewardship Task Force of the Episcopal Diocese of Rhode Island. I'm constantly on the watch for Environmental Stewardship resources (p.s. if you know of any please let me know) and I stumbled across this post over atThe Ongoing Adventures of ASBO Jesus.



This is an all too real problem in the Church. God calls on us to be stewards of His creation. It is a wonderful gift He has given us: if we are not careful we will soon waste it all and having nothing left.

Check out the Environmental Stewardship Task Force on Facebook! I'm currently working on a webpage of our own, so hopefully that will be us soon.

Petition to revoke the independence of the United States of America

I was first shown this by Sister Sarah (Society of St. Margaret). It is an infamous "petition" celebrating the diversity between Britain and America. I hear there is an American rebuttal out there. If anyone knows where that is please let me know.


"To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.

Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new Prime Minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair MP, for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections.

The House of Representatives and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'; skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters.

You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise."

You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to re-spell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up “vocabulary." Using the same thirty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "uhh", "like", and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

Look up "interspersed."

There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary, then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier).

You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents --- Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.

While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters.

British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness. Popular British films such as the Italian Job and the Wicker Man should never be remade.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football." There are other types of football such as Rugby, Aussie Rules & Gaelic football. However proper football - which will no longer be known as soccer, is the best known, most loved and most popular. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.

The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.

Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).

We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2008.

You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of North America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. The 4th of July is no longer a public holiday. The 2nd of November will be a new national holiday, but only in Britain. It will be called "Indecisive Day."

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap, and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call 'French fries' are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.

Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling "beer" is not actually beer at all, it is lager . From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in the Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From the 10th of November the UK will harmonise petrol (or "gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it until the 1st of April) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon -- get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation."

Worthy of Suffering

"As they left the council, they rejoiced that they were considered worthy to suffer dishonor for the sake of the name." Acts 5:41

I recently attended a Bible study at Grace Church in Providence. We were discussing a section of the fifth chapter of Acts. One of the versus we looked at was the one above. "As they left the council, they rejoiced that they were considered worthy to suffer dishonor for the sake of the name." The moment I read that verse it jumped out at me. Worthy of suffering? That sounds pretty ridiculous to me.

When one thinks of suffering with a very American mindset, the first thought is to do whatever it takes to overcome that suffering - to get back to a comfortable life. But, as is the case with many things in life the Christian view is opposite of the world view.

Christ died and suffered for us. So to be able to suffer in His name is a way to become closer to Christ. Jesus says, "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.
Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so men persecuted the prophets who were before you." (Matthew 5:10-12).

So let us not fear and spread the Good News. When the persecution and suffering comes let us rejoice and know that it is all part of the journey.

Banned from GAFCON!!

I must say I am incredibly proud of The Rev'd Scott Gunn, priest-in-charge of Christ Church in Lincoln. Scott is one of the GAFCON 8: he and 7 others have officially been banned from GAFCON. Way to go Scott, I must say I want to be banned by GAFCON,too!

On Marriage

I've been thinking a lot about marriage lately. It started with the legal victories in California, and all that has come with it. But, really the majority of it has been this weekend. For those of you who don't know, this weekend was Rhode Island Pride. I'm hoping to post on that soon. But along with all the partying there were booths about very important issues, including marriage equality. In a few conversations I had with people they mentioned the "Religious Right" and their view of "Biblical Marriage". We all know what that the "Biblical Marriage" is supposed to mean - one man, one woman, and a kid or two.

Well, this morning in church we had an interesting reading on marriage. Now I must admit that I did not come up with this on my own, it comes from the sermon preached by my Rector this morning. However as a wise man once said, "Good artists borrow, great artists steal." This morning's reading from the Book of Genesis (Genesis 21:8-21) is the story of Hagar and Ishmael. Sarah has at this point had Isaac and is worried that Ishmael will inherit everything as he is the older son.

Ishmael is the son of Hagar and Abraham. Now here is the deal with Hagar and Abraham. Sarah still hadn't borne Abraham a son so she told him to have a child with her maid Hagar. So now Abraham has two wives and will eventually have a third.

It was very common for a man to have multiple wives and a few concubines as well. So is this the bible ideal of marriage? One man, and multiple women?

I don't have any big world shattering ideas, but just some food for thought.

Episcopalians and Fabulous

I was so proud a week or two ago when I received eRISEN and saw the information for Episcopalians and Fabulous. It was a calendar of events for pride sponsored by the GLBT group at Grace Episcopal Church in Providence . Many churches in the Diocese have no problem with their LGBT members. I know I'm out at my church to clergy and members and it's no big deal. As my rector said, "To quote Mr. Rogers, 'I love you just the way you are.'" But, here is a church with an actual ministry reaching out to the LGBT community. Way to go guys! I'm very excited to have been invited to join them, and I certainly look forward to celebrating my gay pride and Episcopal pride tomorrow (Saturday June 21) in downtown Providence. If you are around downcity tomorrow over by Kennedy Plaza I encourage you to come stop by and say hello.


Saturday 21 June – 2008 Pride Marketplace

NOON. Come Visit the Grace Church information and welcome table

Saturday 21 June – 2008 Pride Parade

EVENING. Join the LGBT & Friends Alliance of Grace Church

Sunday 22 June – Sunday Worship at Grace Church in Providence

Corner of Westminster and Mathewson Streets in Downcity

Worship with Grace Church in Providence at 8AM and 10AM

Hospitality following the 10AM service courtesy the LGBT & Friends

Alliance of Grace Church